Voice-Do you see the light?
Voice-Just look at the end.
Voice-The tunnel has no end? Are you sure?
Voice-Then why do say that?
Me-I don't know. It just feels like it right now.
Voice-Why do you think that is?
Me-Because this is hell.
Recent discussion on the nature of life have led to an interesting debate on the nature of life in this form and how to go beyond it.
Among those I have discussed this with the overall consensus seems to be that our physical body is a prison that encases our spirit, essense, soul, whatever term you feel most comfortable using to refer to it, until such time as we are able to break free of the cycle of reincarnation.
On one side of the discussion we have those that think that matering the laws of the physical world is the key to achieving freedom from the body.
My thoughts are that Mathmatics and physics are just as big a part of the prison as every other distraction we have.
Personally I think letting go of all thoughts and ideas we hold in this form is the only way to transcend from the physical prison.
Reject the laws of nature and focus on pure energy if you will.
This is difficult to do, assuming you even WANT to do it to begin with.
The bars of our physical prison are largely made up of a veil of fear that has been pull over our spiritual eyes so to speak to prevent us from actively seeking transcendence.
That veil is very powerful and difficult to tear down.
Life in this form however is a unique experience, and I wonder if it is such a horrible punishment afterall.
Life truly is beautiful, and I am not eager to move on just yet.
A moment of virtual silence In memory of Donald MacArthur Hancock, 7 December 1924 – 16 September 2003, R.I.P.
:: Nephra 10/13/2003 03:01:00 PM::
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:: Thursday, September 04, 2003 ::
People wear Masks
It is a fact of life, one that you are supposed to accept.
What do you do when the mask has two or more sides?
How do you know which side is real?
Are any of them real?
Sometimes I wonder.
Why don't we just rip those masks off once and for all and deal with life raw and unguarded?
I don't like masks... thats why I took mine off long ago.
That is where my mother is heading. 2 weeks, or possibly more for tests upon tests. To say I am a bit uneasy would be an understatement. It it however also fair to say that there is hope mingled with the unease. I am sincerely hoping that this trip will result in some finds that will help her out. A few years ago she had a life saving liver transplant up there and for me Mayo always holds the memory of that time. I still am reminded constantly that my mother... who is only 48 years old (yes, she was a teen mom), is living on borrowed time. If she even reaches the age of 60 it will be a miracle according to her doctors. *sigh* I don't really handle that knowledge very well, and it is one of the reasons that I live so closely to her. Family has always been a very important element in my life and it seems like that is falling down around me recently. I suppose I am lucky to have even one grandparent still alive at my age, but I can't help but miss the others. When you grow up with every holiday being a massive gathering of people it is hard to suddenly have all that slip away now. Family gatherings are now few and far between and because I am no longer near the core location of our familly it is difficult to make it home for the few gatherings that we do have. What bothers me even more is that my children are not growing up with that same sense of closeness that I did as a child. My aunts, uncles and cousins were always nearby. I guess some of this has to do with the fact that I only have 1 brother and my mother had 8 siblings. Hopefully my grandchildren will have that large family feel that my children are missing. I don't think this takes away from their happiness in the least, my concern is only that they are missing out on that experience. They still know and feel what it is like to have a closeknit family, I guess they just are missing out on what it feels like to have that on such a large scale. What worries me most right now is that they are going to have to experience alot of loss early on in life, and I guess somehow that is what is meant to be, but it still makes me sad never the less.
Que sera sera.
:: Nephra 4/25/2003 02:01:00 PM::
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:: Saturday, April 19, 2003 ::
Never be the same again
Well it has been a long day, and I am very tired.
Being the heathen that I am, I am letting my mother bring her copy of Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets tommorow for the kids to watch. On EASTER!
I should be flogged, I know. Easter no longer has the same meaning for me as it once did, and now good friday will forever be bad friday. So it has been a year since My grandmother passed away on good friday and I have to say it still hurts, but its weird ... at about 12:01 am Friday morning my mind went to her, almost instinctively. I remembered how I had felt that unease a year ago that night even though I was totally unaware of what was happening over 800 miles away.
She was so very special to me, beyond words, but I felt her in the early hours of Friday. I was calm and sad at the same time.
I miss her.
Every coin has two sides, as does every issue.
Imagine for a moment that you have chosen someone to spend your life with and that person happens to be on the opposite side of the coin. I am currently in this position and I have to say it has made my life difficult lately.
I have always supported my husband in his decisions and often we agree on many things, but when it comes to this war we are on opposite sides of the issue and at times this can cause tension. We try to avoid it by not discussing our opinions with each other very often... but I don't know how long that will work. :(
My hubby comes from a family that has always been deeply involved in the government and naturally his view is that we have to support the president no matter what he does... ugh!
I really don't know what to do. Avoiding the subject is getting increasingly difficult..... if anyone has some suggestions I would really appreciate them. :)
:: Nephra 3/26/2003 11:38:00 AM::
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:: Thursday, March 20, 2003 ::
Just another mother
I have tried to deal with what is happening right now, I have tried not to show too much emotion for the sake of my children, but when one of my 3 year olds comes up to me and just snuggles, and I am holding him and stroking his hair, my mind suddenly went to the other side of the world. Somewhere in Iraq there is a mother holding her child in fear, listening to the sounds of bombs in the distance and wondering if she will be able to protect her child for one more day. I started to cry and I could not stop. My husband looked at me with a look of concern but he knew what was wrong. A person is not defined by where they live or the color of their skin or the language that they speak, but by their heart & spirit.
I could have been born in Iraq just as easily as I was born here in the United States. You can't pick and choose where you are born...
People are people.
Life is precious.
:: Nephra 3/20/2003 10:32:00 PM::
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:: Tuesday, March 18, 2003 ::
This morning I woke up to a low rumble of thunder and just closed my eyes again for a moment and enjoyed the sound of the thunder rolling overhead.
I get up and do the things I do everyday, make breakfast , get the hubby off to work, get the kids lesson enhancements printed while they eat, and then clean up the breakfast mess and get the kids started on their lessons and turn pbs on for the babies.....Finally I log on to check my email and messages when I came across This in one of the forums I read.
my sister works at L Occitane, a french bath and body store, she has been getting harassing phone calls at work... people have been picketing her store... she didnt care though.. because its their right to do that...
what bothers her and scares me... is that last night she came out to her car and found a note threatening her. Basically saying that if she didnt quit her anti american job that she would be "taken care of"
she went to the mall police and gave them a note... now she has to have an escort to go home at night
To say I was outraged would be a major understatement. I was incredibly dumbfounded at how far some people would go to make others conform to their opinions or views. This truly made me sad, and turned what I thought would be a pleasant morning into a turbulent storm.
:: Nephra 3/18/2003 08:37:00 AM::
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:: Sunday, March 09, 2003 ::
You know that music that you hear and it is like you suddenly feel good about life. Its about the world, its about living, its about loving, its about the human experience.
The other day I was surfing around yahoo music and I happened on a new group that are the embodiment of life music. Weekend Players is the name of the group and there sound is classified by yahoo as electronic/dance but they are not so easily defined.
Off of their albumn The Pursuit of Happiness my favorite song, thus far is 21st Century. If you visit there site, be sure and take advantage of the chance to listen to the albumn. It is very relaxing and uplifting.... :)
:: Nephra 3/09/2003 07:32:00 PM::
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